In 1979, Merle Haggard released a song called “I wear my own kinda hat” and the lyrics talk about there being many ways to look at things but “I stand right here where I’m at, cause I wear my own kinda hat.” 

That song always spoke to me because I grew up around people who valued community and friendship but always had their own beliefs and lifestyle. Most of them were aggressively self-reliant, but would drop everything, any time of day, in any weather to run to the aid of their neighbors. “In the middle of nowhere” Wyoming can be unforgiving and unquestioned support in an emergency was just how we all lived.

Today, I hear people saying they would give up lifelong friendships, family relationships, and refuse to even speak to some people over disagreements in philosophy and beliefs.

That concerns me because it removes any chance of understanding each other or learning something new that might lead to making positive changes to our own position.

As long as we are still talking, and actively listening, we are making progress.

In the interest of full disclosure, there are people and lifestyles I do not anticipate I will be accepting anytime soon, and I do not necessarily go out of my way to get close to them. But that does not mean I would refuse to speak to “all” of them or defend one of them if they were being beset upon by somebody less than tolerant.

We all live in a big world full of people we probably disagree with, but the more we isolate ourselves the more likely we will be to agree to follow fools who promote a loss of trust, and advocate violence and destruction. And that cannot ever be the first option we choose to solve problems and settle differences.

My doctor has a sign in each room that reads “Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about – be kind.” I would add the only way you can know, and understand, their battle is to ask, and then listen. You might save a life or change an outcome!