For as long as there have been sentient people, men have gathered around a fire to tell stories and share experiences. That changed from a real fire to bars, cafes, and old stores with pot bellied stoves. But now young men are on social media sharing bathroom habits and silly picture of themselves instead of really meeting. I am not so sure this is a beneficial trend, for the men or society.
I confess I am an old guy and much of what passes for human interaction today mystifies me, as I am sure it did my grandparents. But this is different!
But to my point about cafes, why do I think meeting in Cafes is a big deal? That is where I am right now and for over 65 years it has been meaningful to me. Here are my thoughts on this.
There are three tables of primarily older men and (yes, I am eavesdropping) conversations are going on about politics, the economy, favorite old cars, best adventures, and other stuff men discuss. In these conversations these men reconnect, new friends stop in and join the conversations, young men are introduced to old men and there is a continuity of information and socialization. Most importantly they see each other, look each other in the eye and form relationships.
Women meet here as well but women seem to be able to meet anywhere and start talking. It is just as important to socialization of the younger women, but I am discussing men today.
In almost all mammalian systems the elders teach the young how to behave, as it were. The youth learn manners, how to survive, what works and what doesn’t, in other words they learn life’s lessons. The older members may rail against the actions of youth, but they also learn to adjust to change, and they are kept vibrant and alive by the interaction and discussion.
My observation has been that social media tends to isolate, not join, people. Isolation allows nonproductive ideas to be distilled to the lowest common denominator among groups who form online and then deny non-believers, or non-supporters. In person that occurs, but it is more difficult because ideas presented are immediately subject to criticism, in person.
In the end, people are social creatures and we need membership in supportive groups to grow and have safe and productive societies. Open discussion advances society and moves us forward productively. Unfortunately, the internet lets people be anonymous and to not be responsible for their more aberrant thoughts and actions.
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